Name

I have a few different names, and different people call me different things depending on the relationship I have with them.

Robert – My name. It’s almost always how I introduce myself. It’s what my friends and family call me.

Bobby (or Bob) – My childhood name. People who knew me when I was a kid still call me this. Mostly friends and family friends.

Takamasa – My Japanese middle name. Japanese people and people who speak Japanese sometimes call me this. Other than that, not many people do.

Adam – My middle name. Nobody calls me this.

Rob – My pen name/pseudonym/business name. I tend to use this name when I write things, or on “professional” material. I only introduce myself as Rob when in a business situation. I don’t like it when people call me Rob unless they’re a business associate. I don’t mind it when friends/people at church call me Rob every now-and-then, but if someone is constantly calling me “Rob,” and they never refer to me as “Robert,” I always notice, and it’s offensive. It’s like they don’t even know my real name and/or don’t care to call me by my real name. It’s distancing and formal. So unless you’re a business associate, don’t call me Rob, or at the very least, don’t make a habit of it. In short, my friends don’t call me Rob.

Manufacturer’s Recall

I don’t know who wrote this, but I like it:

 

 

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed, “Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality,” or more commonly known as “SIN”.

Some Symptoms:

  1. Loss of direction
  2. Lack of peace and joy
  3. Depression or confusion in the mental component
  4. Foul vocal emissions
  5. Selfish, violent behavior
  6. Amnesia of origin
  7. Fearfulness
  8. Rebellion
  9. Pride

To correct this SIN defect, the Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.

There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

  1. Love
  2. Joy
  3. Peace
  4. Kindness
  5. Goodness
  6. Faithfulness
  7. Gentleness
  8. Patience
  9. Self-control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units direct monitoring and assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, the HOLY SPIRIT. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence on the premises.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without making these corrections voids the Manufacturer’s warranty, exposing the unit to many dangers and problems — and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter his Kingdom so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

Thank you for your attention!